A Bag Full of Stones and Flowers - Year-End Stories for 2017

December 30, 2017

I don't know where I should begin or what to say with my year-end review especially it is my first time to do something like this. I don't usually look back to share my stories or what I've been through during a year, or if I did, it was just a brief flashback that doesn't have any substantial. Indeed, it is different from just reminiscing some memories because this is more in-depth topics and emotion might get involved.

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Photo Courtesy: empoweryogastudio.com

As what my title goes, 2017 for me is like a bag full of stones and flowers. Stones stand for hardship, failure, negativity and all the bad things happen to me... while the flowers are happiness, good times, positivity and everything that we wish to stay in that same time and never let go. To understand what I meant about this, here's my monthly flashback of my 2017.

JANUARY (HELLO & GOODBYES)   - I left my previous company and find a new job. But friendship stay just like the old times.  

FEBRUARY (STAYING FOR THE GOOD HEART)  - A Special Month for love and a year of celebration with my found LOVE. 

MARCH (REBORN)  - This is my favorite month because it's my birth month. I just turned 24 and I was so desperate to do something crazy and risky... Then this is the time I chose to go beyond my comfort zone.

APRIL (BURNING HOT)  - It's summer and I have nothing to do but to browse the net, go to work and do the things I usually do... But also this is the time when I did my brainstorming for a new venture in life.

MAY (FLOWER CROWN)  - The Business Venture begins. This was also the time I try to do things I never thought that I will do. And that is doing Business and Investing on it.

JUNE (A PASSER BY) - June was a passer by but imprinted a mark in my 2017. During this month, I do more socialization... It is one thing I never fond of doing... socialize... not unless you count those behind the keyboard thingy. 

JULY (GETTING FIT) - A roller coaster ride in terms of achieving my #fitnessgoals and for this month, I achieved to lose few pounds and reshape my figure into smaller numbers.

AUGUST (A HOME SWEET HOME GETAWAY) - I got more time to myself and to my family. A month for a sweet escape of busy days to a nature-inspired travel plan. I've been to places that I never knew though its my hometown. I be able to explore my island within few days. 

SEPTEMBER (A NEW START) - This was my second phase of changing environment. A few months later I look for another job that near to my heart. And finally I be able to become a Clinical / Hospital Dietitian from a well-known hospital. Whoot!

OCTOBER (NEW FOUND FAMILY) - Just my second place like home. A warmth welcome is always sweet and cute. I found these crazy people that I enjoy talking and laughing with corny jokes with them. I was also shared some few crafts with them.

NOVEMBER (A LIGHT FOR THE SOULS)  - All Saints' Day. A light for the Souls and a party to celebrate with my old time friends whom I seldom meet but for sure, a day with them is worthy to be treasured.

DECEMBER (GIVING GIFTS) - Christmas is always the season of giving back all the blessings you've received. I be able to survive all the hardship happened in 2017 and in the end, I be able to share still my happiness to people I care and love. A date with my mom is one of the few gifts I be able to give.

I seldom say that "I'm proud of myself" because I never thought I done something I could be proved of. But going back to the hardship I overcome for 2017, I'm proud to say that "Yes! I'm proud of myself... because I survive that phase and learn from it".

The Three Things I'm proudest is when...

  • I become more independent and try something new to myself in which leads me the way to a new path for me.
  • I make some "ME TIME" with few travels I went even with the tight budget I always have.
  • Lastly, I become more "ME" without pretending and trying to be someone else just to be loved.

Just like what I said before, Things happened in our lives.. unexpectedly... and it sometimes lead us to breakdown and downfall... But when things happened... we always have the option to choose the better path...

Some of my internal and external road blocks during 2017 were...
  • People doesn't believe in me... or I felt I wasn't good enough for them and so my confidence breaks and I tend to believe them.
  • Insecurities and perfecting the perfect imperfections of mine. When my confident level goes down, my insecurities and flaws boost up. 
  • And it all boils down to being stubbornly lazy with the things I should do or accomplish. 

Regrets always come after the storm. We always believe that we should have done better because after that storm, you finally realized what to do or what have you done to make the end story perfect or at least in its best option you hope for. But life doesn't happen just like that... Regrets are part of our lives but its intensity lessen or its worth changes when we found the true meaning why "things happens" in our lives.

And if you ask me about that 3 things I should have done better?

Well, I should have perfected the "Art of Dedma". I should have gave time on taking care of myself rather than taking care of what other people will say about me... because whatever you do or say, people will always have something to go against with you... 

Also, I should have done something purposeful and become a better decision-maker whenever "Things happened" in my lives. Honestly, I easily breakdown when I fail to do things and I always regret things and start questioning myself with that "what ifs".

As they say, before we have to move forward, we have to drop all the baggage we need to be left behind... those storylines that we have left at the very far behind... If we do those things, we can help ourselves to stop thinking about those self-limiting beliefs we have.

Mine was when I allowed myself to be controlled by those people I'm with. I allowed people to take over my life by trying to impress them most of the time. Yes, I'm the proudest when I say I become more independent but on the downside of it, Failures come parallel to it. It seems it go together just like when you make one wrong decision everything seems to fall apart and left you nothing but sadness.

So, after this year, I'll dropping it off and take it as a learning experience for me. I've realize what I should or shouldn't do so I can live a happier and healthier life.

After everything I've done for the past few months, Let me share to you also my experience in the year 2016 and to 2017. December 2016 is about friendship and I've build so much attachment with them. Even we seldom talk or meet one another, I believe that we still care from one another and we have that special bond that I truly missed. 

But of course, just like the any other story, we have to move forward with our lives. December 2017 become more fruitful and happy. Indeed, there's always a sunshine after the rain! I found a new family to celebrate the birth of Jesus and I have more relaxed life to live with. 

After all the realization about the positive and negative things I have during 2017, I now fully understand of what I should do better in 2018. 

2017 for me is a year of no savings but more debts, more time about regrets and negativity and more energy spend in dealing with my insecurities and failures. Now, if I have to write something about myself before 2017 ends... 

I want to devote my MONEY in saving more and buying gifts for myself and to my family in reasonable amount. As for my TIME, I have to spend more time with my "Nanay" and to the people I love. Lastly, I will use my ENERGY to be more positive towards life happenings and enjoy the life to the fullest even though saying these stuffs are cliche already.

Thank you for ready my long post and I do hope You've learn something about it. Anyways, share your ups and downs in your 2017 and what are your plans in 2018? I would love to know about it! Just comment below!. :)

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